Do Not Give Your Number To A Guy You Meet On MySpace

This cautionary tale can apply to any dating site, but was specifically about MySpace a few years back.....

Since I am single I must admit that I often use Myspace as a way to meet new people. A year ago there was a man who added me, and I must admit first I thought he was really cute. He asked for my phone number, so after asking me for about three weeks I finally caved in. I had given other guys on Myspace my cell phone number, but I wish I had looked at this new guy's profile a little bit more before I did. It turns out he was quite the Lothario and Do Juan who loved to party it up every weekend. He posted numerous messages to each girl's MySpace page, so by the time it was too late I realized I was just another picture conquest for him.

Thought I Was In The Clear

Mr. Myspace did not call me for about three weeks, so I was relieved and thought he had lost my number. Unfortunately my luck ran out when he started sending some really inappropriate text messages the next day. I asked Mr. Myspace to never text me again, and he asked when we could hang out. I told him we would never be hanging out, and I did not hear from him again for almost six months.

He Resurfaces

After six months Mr. Myspace starts sending me several random text messages about wanting to get together, and not for the type of dates I was interested in. There have been a few nice guys I meet on Myspace that I did not end up dating, but at least I could call these gentlemen friends. Mr. Myspace continues to send me weird texts wondering when we can hook up. I am not going to report him because I do not see him as a threat, but he seems really interested in building up conquests.

His Myspace profile come across as a major player's arena where he engages a  different girl every night of the week, but now I am beginning to think maybe he is just desperate. I have not heard from him for a couple of months now, but it will be amusing to see what he next text message says. Sometimes for fun I used to text him back and tell him his new name was  Mr. Syrup Man and ask him if you likes to go swimming in vats of syrup, but he did not seem to have a response to that text.

Funny Thoughts To Have

Sometimes we need a silly diversion from all the battle it up politics on the news at the moment. This hub is meant to be a fun break from all that.

• When you are at a boring party, paste a fake smile on your face and exclaim how this is most exciting party ever! Then imagine everyone jumping in an over-sized punch bowl and singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 
• When someone cackles super loud at the movie theater, imagine a laughing hyena in the wild. However, at least you can smile with delight because you know hyenas are naturally intended to make that much noise. 
• When telemarketers call tell them they have reached Dodo's House of Pancakes and list out the special types of syrups available on the menu. Gloat about how the maple syrup is homemade in the French countryside, and let them know it will cost extra for shipping for that reason. Let the telemarketer know you would like their home phone number so you can arrange a special delivery. I have never asked for a telemarketer's home phone number, but often I tell them they have reached Dodo's House of Pancakes and give them the maple syrup spiel. If they are going to waste my time, I might as well have some fun wasting some of theirs. 
• When people gossip at a party, just imagine they are making those "waam, waam" sounds like the adults on the Charlie Brown cartoons. The next time someone makes a snide comment towards you, just imagine they are dancing and singing in an over the top musical like Aunty Mame. Visualize them singing the snarky comment to a chorus and then you will have a true smile on your face. When they ask what you are smiling about, simply reply you enjoy looking at the beautiful pictures on the wall. 
• If one of your relatives decides to tell you flying on South West Airlines is cheap and like a cattle call, just imagine yourself mooing at them. In your visualization you can excuse yourself for having to leave because it is "milking time," but in real life you might want to come up with a better excuse. Either way, the rude comment will no longer sting, and it will make you smile. 
• When a guy makes some rude comment to you on a date and cannot even manage to be a gentleman, imagine him descending the stairs like in one of those 1930's musicals. In your visualization he will reach the bottom of the stairs and he will sit near a pool to bask in his own reflection. Tell the real life Narcissus not to Bogart the swimming hole for too long, and run out of the restaurant quickly before he figures out what you mean. I have never done this, but just imagining it brings a smile to my face. 

 All of the above thoughts are simply funny ways to deal with irritated and hurt feelings. I never get angry, I just have funny thoughts.

Tell A Friend You Love Him

How do you tell a friend you are in love with him or her? This is a very hard choice because it can result in rejection and ruining a good friendship. However, the one time I told a friend I was in love with him I did not regret it because even though we did not get married, it ended up being one of the best dating experiences of my life. There is no advance preparation needed for telling a friend you love him, just drop in casual conversation and see how he responds. When I finally admitted to my friend that I was in love with him we were at a luau, so it could be anywhere and at anytime. However, if you are a true romantic you could arrange to have a romantic dinner, which might help your friend figure out what the message is trying to be conveyed. These are just a few of my suggestions because I believe in saying what I feel and sharing my emotions, but if someone does not want to say those things they do not have too. If I truly am in love with my friend I feel I have nothing to lose by letting him know.

Honestly, I hope if and when I do get married that I am friends with the man first because I feel it is easier to get along with someone when you are their friend. If you are dating a man that is not your friend, what do the two of you really have in common? This was the question Carrie Bradshaw asked herself before she went off to Europe with Alek during the last season of Sex And The City. For years she had had an on and off relationship with Big, but he had always backed away when Carrie told him she wanted more. Thus, Carrie decided to make a commitment to Alek because he offered her what Big could not, even though it is very clear that these two have nothing in common.

Yes, I know Sex And The City is fiction and this is a real life issue, but many of the issues women dealt with on this show are true to life struggles of dating as a single woman. Sometimes people are friends for years and then one day they realize they are meant to be together. This is not always the norm and I would not wait around for my friend to marry me, but there are exceptions to every rule. Many long-term friendships eventually do become relationships that lead to marriage.
Big preferred to be Carrie's friend, so they started up an unconventional friendship that lasted through several seasons after they failed romance. Although this may not be the typical friendship most women and men have, I feel Carrie and Big are representative of those people who are friends and then become lovers because in the end it does work out between them. Since Big did not want to commit she went on with her life and eventually moved to France with Alek. Carrie learned in France that Alek was too engrossed in his art work and that she would never be a priority in his life, and Big finally realized that he wanted to have a real relationship with Carrie. So even though Big had rejected Carrie in the beginning, he eventually realized that she was the one he wanted to be with. If you have enjoyed the series you might enjoy watching the movie Sex in the City because it deals with many of these real life issues, but this movie is for adults and not recommended for children.


Although I do not agree with all the lifestyle choices that the women in Sex In The City make, I have always found this show to be a humorous and candid look at the life, love, and friendship. One thing I think women can learn from their friendships is that love is not and end all and be all in your life. So if you have a male friend that you love you should not be afraid to tell how you feel. If he is your true friend there is not risk involved and he will never say or do anything purposely to hurt you. Both of you will be able to work through any hard feelings and a strong friendship will remain in place if there was a real friendship to begin with. However, if this person was not really your friend in the first place that is the only time he or she would become offended or act rude. You may be surprised and it may turn out your friend has loved you for years and was just waiting for the right moment to come clean.
People should keep in mind that friendship lasts longer and "romantic love" is often fleeting. After a few years of marriage the type of love a couple shares is based more on respect, mutual trust, and friendship, which shows that in the long run a strong friendship is important in every romantic relationship. Even though I was willing to take the plunge and let my friend know that he loved me, that does not mean every woman or man should do this. Only say these words if you:

• You will have no regrets.
• See signs that he or she thinks the pair of you as a couple.
• Know that this is a solid friendship that cannot be destroyed by a disagreement or misunderstanding.

Also, it is important to remember that love is not the end all and be all in life and women can rely on their friends to be there for them and to care for them, even when they are single or married. Life does not revolve around romance, but we should not be afraid to express our feelings or romance for someone we truly love. Also, I wanted to address the comment someone made in the comment section by contending my friend was not in love with me because that was simply not the case. I never admitted he did not reciprocate the love, what I said was we decided the relationship was not going to work out. Grounded individuals are able to admit when something is not working and quit while they are ahead. If a person is your friend and you decide begin a relationship, who knows, it may turn out to be a story book ending. However, if it does not work out a true friend will remain your friend and have no hard feelings. The friendship may have some problems at first, but talking things through will resolve many issues that can arise. In the end I feel there is nothing to lose by taking the plunge and telling your friend that you love him.

The Crashing of The Waves

Another ridiculous poem about hoopskirtman:

How I long for the shores of Honolulu,

But my girlfriend wants to live in South Africa because she is Zulu.

I remember during my twentieth year wading into the waves,

And how my hoop skirt was soaked and dank like a cave.

I felt so pretty wearing my pink poke bonnet,

And how a local wahine decided to write me a Hawaiian sonnet.

Evermore I will remember the crashing of the waves,

and how I pretended to oh so brave!

I Heart Hoopskirts

I am not usually one to write poetry, but I did write some satirical poetry in honor of the satirical character hoopskirtman.

I heart hoopskirts because these set me free,

And allow me to be me.

Hoopskirts are fun to wear while twirling in the grass,

I also like to wear these while I am polishing brass.

Hoopskirts are sexy and slury,

Wearing one can make me very burly.

Some women think men who wear skirts are cowards,

But some of us are just known as Howards.

Hoopskirts are super sexy,

My name is the skirted Bexy.

Not Without My Hoopskirts

The saga of hoopskirt man continues in this silly, and very brief story:

The year was 2020 and a new country called Mini-Skirt Land had just been founded. Uncle Tom's son Jerry had grown to love hoop skirts, but unfortunately he had married a woman named Yvette who loved mini-skirts. Yvette constantly wanted to go visit the new country called Mini-Skirt Land because she felt this would be a wonderful place. Jerry was leery of going to this new country because he was a hoop skirt aficionado and heard they might make him wear mini-skirts there.

The land is filled with all mini-skirts, but Jerry only likes to wear hoopskirts.  He decides to teach everyone there how to sew both hoop skirts, and they teach him how to make mini-skirts.  Jerry does not enjoy wearing mini-skirts, but he makes a fortunate by starting a new online business that sells both beautifully hand-sewn mini-skirts and hoop skirts. 

Jerry and his friends have hours of fun taking pictures of the skirts for the online website, which is heralded as the most creative skirt store online in 2021.  Will this really happen?  Probably not, but you will just have to wait unti 2021 to find out.

Hoopskirtman Is Gone With The Pineapples

Here is an amusing and quite silly story I wrote back in 2008.

After ten years of marriage it turned out that Lonnie and Tom, aka hoopskirtman, were not meant to be together forever. Tom thought that Lonnie was acting distracted lately, but he finally realized it was all over the day he came home to to be thrown out by the sheriff. Lonnie had made up a story about how Tom's hoopskirts were causing her emotional duress, which was pretty hypocritical since she had designed and sewed each one. Actually, that night as the sheriff was escourted Tom off his own property he realized she had not made him a fancy or flouncy hoopskirt in over a year. Tom was a little sad to look back and see the last of Uncle Tom's Cabin, but he knew in the pit of his stomach it was time to move on.

The next day Lonnie started shacking up with a nineteen year guy name Ted in the cabin and renamed Uncle Ted's Cabin after her new beau. She even persuaded Ted to wear the beautiful hoopskirts and corsets Tom had left behind, so lets just say she was not very creative. Turns out Lonnie was having a midlife crisis and just wanted to prove she was still viable by having a love affair with a man half her age. Tom heard about this at the local bar as he was drowning out his sorrows in one Shirley Temple after another. Tom was so sad about the break-up he did not even stop to realize that Shirley Temples were non-alcoholic.

Tom was crying all over the bar and picked up a piece of paper to dry off his eyes. He noticed this was a brochure for a trip to Hawaii, so he decided the very next day his new start would be in the fiftieth state.

Tom packed his hoopskirts and boarded an airplane to Honolulu. Thankfully Tom had been selling yarn on the side, so he had three months income to live off of before he went broke.

Upon landing in Honolulu Tom decided to take the first job that came his way, so he went to the airport coffee bar and begged to be hired. It turned out that day the flaky high school boy at the counter decided to quit so he could make out with his girlfriend and the flight back to Seattle, so by a chance of luck Tom now had a job.

At first the customers at the coffee shop stared Tom because he was dressed to the nines as Civil War era lady, but his boss loved him for it because so many people came to buy coffee and talk to hoopskirtman. The boss was congratulated for the great business strategy of hiring a Civil War performer, and Tom played along by pretending to be a Scarlet O'Hara like type of dragqueen. Tom helped to crush the stereotype that all dragqueens are only interested in same sex relationships because Tom was very much a heterosexual. Tom just happened to be more feminine than the average man.

On Tom's days off he had so much fun driving around the island of Oahu, and eventually he found a really cute piece of land with pineapples on it. It was really windy there, so he decided to call it Gone With The Pineapples. At work they called him "Gone With The Wind" because of his hoopskirts, so he thought having a new land named after him would be good luck.

A month later Tom bought the plot of land and started at new life there. He eventually quit the job at the coffee shop and went to college. Tom got his degree in nineteenth century women's fashion,and became a Civil War era performer and period fashion expert. Tom performed in local plays starring as himself "hoopskirtman", and he volunteered at the local soup kitchen. It was at there he met fellow volunteer Elise, and the two quickly fell in love.

At this point Tom was 40 and Elise was 20, but they loved each other and wanted to make the relationship work. Elise had never dated a man in drag before, but it was a new age and she was so open to her new love. Tom had a masculine side, but he also was in touched with his girly side. Tom built them a beautiful house while wearing his hoopskirts, and Elise realized he was the one. On Elise's 22 birthday the couple married and they lived happily ever after. Ironically Ted left Lonnie and took all her beautiful hoopskirts, outfits, and crafts when she was sleeping, so guess who had better karma in the end. Four years after Tom and Elise had been married they received a call from Lonnie begging him to come back, but told her now and he had to go knit. Tom was not bitter about Lonnie having used the sheriff to get him thrown out of his own house, but he really did not want to see her again.

From that day on Lonnie became smitten once again with Tom as she had been in her late twenties and early thirties, lamenting all the hurt she had inflicted upon this lovely man. Tom forgot all about the odd call from Lonnie and lived happily ever after with Elise.

P.S. This is not the last of hoopskirtman, just wanted to let you know he had a long and happy life with his lady love Elise.