Funny Thoughts To Have

Sometimes we need a silly diversion from all the battle it up politics on the news at the moment. This hub is meant to be a fun break from all that.

• When you are at a boring party, paste a fake smile on your face and exclaim how this is most exciting party ever! Then imagine everyone jumping in an over-sized punch bowl and singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 
• When someone cackles super loud at the movie theater, imagine a laughing hyena in the wild. However, at least you can smile with delight because you know hyenas are naturally intended to make that much noise. 
• When telemarketers call tell them they have reached Dodo's House of Pancakes and list out the special types of syrups available on the menu. Gloat about how the maple syrup is homemade in the French countryside, and let them know it will cost extra for shipping for that reason. Let the telemarketer know you would like their home phone number so you can arrange a special delivery. I have never asked for a telemarketer's home phone number, but often I tell them they have reached Dodo's House of Pancakes and give them the maple syrup spiel. If they are going to waste my time, I might as well have some fun wasting some of theirs. 
• When people gossip at a party, just imagine they are making those "waam, waam" sounds like the adults on the Charlie Brown cartoons. The next time someone makes a snide comment towards you, just imagine they are dancing and singing in an over the top musical like Aunty Mame. Visualize them singing the snarky comment to a chorus and then you will have a true smile on your face. When they ask what you are smiling about, simply reply you enjoy looking at the beautiful pictures on the wall. 
• If one of your relatives decides to tell you flying on South West Airlines is cheap and like a cattle call, just imagine yourself mooing at them. In your visualization you can excuse yourself for having to leave because it is "milking time," but in real life you might want to come up with a better excuse. Either way, the rude comment will no longer sting, and it will make you smile. 
• When a guy makes some rude comment to you on a date and cannot even manage to be a gentleman, imagine him descending the stairs like in one of those 1930's musicals. In your visualization he will reach the bottom of the stairs and he will sit near a pool to bask in his own reflection. Tell the real life Narcissus not to Bogart the swimming hole for too long, and run out of the restaurant quickly before he figures out what you mean. I have never done this, but just imagining it brings a smile to my face. 

 All of the above thoughts are simply funny ways to deal with irritated and hurt feelings. I never get angry, I just have funny thoughts.