The Crashing of The Waves

Another ridiculous poem about hoopskirtman:

How I long for the shores of Honolulu,

But my girlfriend wants to live in South Africa because she is Zulu.

I remember during my twentieth year wading into the waves,

And how my hoop skirt was soaked and dank like a cave.

I felt so pretty wearing my pink poke bonnet,

And how a local wahine decided to write me a Hawaiian sonnet.

Evermore I will remember the crashing of the waves,

and how I pretended to oh so brave!

I Heart Hoopskirts

I am not usually one to write poetry, but I did write some satirical poetry in honor of the satirical character hoopskirtman.

I heart hoopskirts because these set me free,

And allow me to be me.

Hoopskirts are fun to wear while twirling in the grass,

I also like to wear these while I am polishing brass.

Hoopskirts are sexy and slury,

Wearing one can make me very burly.

Some women think men who wear skirts are cowards,

But some of us are just known as Howards.

Hoopskirts are super sexy,

My name is the skirted Bexy.

Not Without My Hoopskirts

The saga of hoopskirt man continues in this silly, and very brief story:

The year was 2020 and a new country called Mini-Skirt Land had just been founded. Uncle Tom's son Jerry had grown to love hoop skirts, but unfortunately he had married a woman named Yvette who loved mini-skirts. Yvette constantly wanted to go visit the new country called Mini-Skirt Land because she felt this would be a wonderful place. Jerry was leery of going to this new country because he was a hoop skirt aficionado and heard they might make him wear mini-skirts there.

The land is filled with all mini-skirts, but Jerry only likes to wear hoopskirts.  He decides to teach everyone there how to sew both hoop skirts, and they teach him how to make mini-skirts.  Jerry does not enjoy wearing mini-skirts, but he makes a fortunate by starting a new online business that sells both beautifully hand-sewn mini-skirts and hoop skirts. 

Jerry and his friends have hours of fun taking pictures of the skirts for the online website, which is heralded as the most creative skirt store online in 2021.  Will this really happen?  Probably not, but you will just have to wait unti 2021 to find out.

Hoopskirtman Is Gone With The Pineapples

Here is an amusing and quite silly story I wrote back in 2008.

After ten years of marriage it turned out that Lonnie and Tom, aka hoopskirtman, were not meant to be together forever. Tom thought that Lonnie was acting distracted lately, but he finally realized it was all over the day he came home to to be thrown out by the sheriff. Lonnie had made up a story about how Tom's hoopskirts were causing her emotional duress, which was pretty hypocritical since she had designed and sewed each one. Actually, that night as the sheriff was escourted Tom off his own property he realized she had not made him a fancy or flouncy hoopskirt in over a year. Tom was a little sad to look back and see the last of Uncle Tom's Cabin, but he knew in the pit of his stomach it was time to move on.

The next day Lonnie started shacking up with a nineteen year guy name Ted in the cabin and renamed Uncle Ted's Cabin after her new beau. She even persuaded Ted to wear the beautiful hoopskirts and corsets Tom had left behind, so lets just say she was not very creative. Turns out Lonnie was having a midlife crisis and just wanted to prove she was still viable by having a love affair with a man half her age. Tom heard about this at the local bar as he was drowning out his sorrows in one Shirley Temple after another. Tom was so sad about the break-up he did not even stop to realize that Shirley Temples were non-alcoholic.

Tom was crying all over the bar and picked up a piece of paper to dry off his eyes. He noticed this was a brochure for a trip to Hawaii, so he decided the very next day his new start would be in the fiftieth state.

Tom packed his hoopskirts and boarded an airplane to Honolulu. Thankfully Tom had been selling yarn on the side, so he had three months income to live off of before he went broke.

Upon landing in Honolulu Tom decided to take the first job that came his way, so he went to the airport coffee bar and begged to be hired. It turned out that day the flaky high school boy at the counter decided to quit so he could make out with his girlfriend and the flight back to Seattle, so by a chance of luck Tom now had a job.

At first the customers at the coffee shop stared Tom because he was dressed to the nines as Civil War era lady, but his boss loved him for it because so many people came to buy coffee and talk to hoopskirtman. The boss was congratulated for the great business strategy of hiring a Civil War performer, and Tom played along by pretending to be a Scarlet O'Hara like type of dragqueen. Tom helped to crush the stereotype that all dragqueens are only interested in same sex relationships because Tom was very much a heterosexual. Tom just happened to be more feminine than the average man.

On Tom's days off he had so much fun driving around the island of Oahu, and eventually he found a really cute piece of land with pineapples on it. It was really windy there, so he decided to call it Gone With The Pineapples. At work they called him "Gone With The Wind" because of his hoopskirts, so he thought having a new land named after him would be good luck.

A month later Tom bought the plot of land and started at new life there. He eventually quit the job at the coffee shop and went to college. Tom got his degree in nineteenth century women's fashion,and became a Civil War era performer and period fashion expert. Tom performed in local plays starring as himself "hoopskirtman", and he volunteered at the local soup kitchen. It was at there he met fellow volunteer Elise, and the two quickly fell in love.

At this point Tom was 40 and Elise was 20, but they loved each other and wanted to make the relationship work. Elise had never dated a man in drag before, but it was a new age and she was so open to her new love. Tom had a masculine side, but he also was in touched with his girly side. Tom built them a beautiful house while wearing his hoopskirts, and Elise realized he was the one. On Elise's 22 birthday the couple married and they lived happily ever after. Ironically Ted left Lonnie and took all her beautiful hoopskirts, outfits, and crafts when she was sleeping, so guess who had better karma in the end. Four years after Tom and Elise had been married they received a call from Lonnie begging him to come back, but told her now and he had to go knit. Tom was not bitter about Lonnie having used the sheriff to get him thrown out of his own house, but he really did not want to see her again.

From that day on Lonnie became smitten once again with Tom as she had been in her late twenties and early thirties, lamenting all the hurt she had inflicted upon this lovely man. Tom forgot all about the odd call from Lonnie and lived happily ever after with Elise.

P.S. This is not the last of hoopskirtman, just wanted to let you know he had a long and happy life with his lady love Elise.

It Is Cool To Be Politically Aware

There has been a long standing tradition with many about how you should never discuss politics or religion in polite company, but let's be honest: people do it anyway! People who are into politics or current events are often made to feel like they should be ashamed of this interest, or tone it down around those who do not share their passion. Well, I am going to stand up and say it is okay to be politically aware, and even discuss politics, too. I know a lot of people hate all the campaign talk and just want it to end, but some of us actually follow politics out of interest. For instance, I would rather watch clips from the Young Turks on YouTube or read a news article on the BBC than watching a sporting event, or playing one of those popular virtual reality games. Just because my interest happens to be politics and current events does not make this less valid.

Faux Political Discussions Are Boring

I prefer a heated and real political discussion any day of the week over a faux political discussion. I am not afraid to say hey I am voting for Obama on November 6, and this is my choice even though I would have preferred him to be a bit more progressive on many key issues. I have no problems with arguing about policy positions that Romney supports that I think are not in the best interests of the American people, and I really do not have to be ashamed of admitting this. It is okay and encouraged to root for a sports team, but heaven forbid we have an intense debate about foreign policy.

Faux political discussions are not satisfying for many of us political junkies because the people who engage in those are only interested in saying "everyone should vote," but balk if any real positions are discussed. For instance, a few days I was on a certain company's Facebook page when they posted a message on their wall about how everyone should vote on November 6, and several of us posted our reasons as for why we might vote for Obama or Romney. All of the comments stating who we would vote for and why were deleted, but only the pc comments about "go vote" were kept there. Yes, I know a business does not want perceived as if it is taking sides, but a lot of people were not pleased about having their opinions deleted, especially since the company had brought up the issue of voting.

So the bottom line is if a group of people or a business brings up an issue like voting, do not turn it into a faux discussion about politics that just says something generic about how voting is cool. One particular Facebook political interchange on a business wall was civil, and a lot of us did not feel like commenting on this company's wall anymore after they deleted anything that was remotely political in leaning. I have a lot more respect for people I disagree with me and put their opinions out there and back it up rather than just having a feel good faux discussion about politics just to keep the peace. I think yes we need to be civil and not call names, but having seen how Julia Gillard called out her opposition in the Australian Parliament, I often wish American politicians in particular, and Americans in general would not clam up every time a person has remotely political opinion. 

It is okay for someone to be passionate about a basketball team they like, but heaven forbid an American show passion for a certain politician. Oh my goodness, you might not want to be my friend anymore because I am a liberal. Oh well, you probably were not my real friend anyway since you did not understand we are not all carbon clones of each other. I am still friends with conservatives, and I like that I know where they stand on things, actually.  In my book, faux political discussions are boring.

Get Past Hurt Feelings And Mean Blog Comments

Sometimes when someone writes something that hurts your feelings, well it is just so hard to get past it. Why should I care, it is only their opinion. When people have gone out of their way with politics to let me know their way of thinking is vastly superior, in the past I used to think it would be impossible to find any common ground with those people. I notice some people who vastly disagree on politics and religion can still be friendly with each other, but this did not come as easily for me. I actually do not regret that I am this way, but when someone says something that truly hurts my feelings, I just find it harder than others to get past it. Sometimes it is just an opinion on politics or something of the like, but often I see they express hurt when someone questions them, but what if their comments hurt you?

Seriously, who cares about the man personal attacks as comments? Wow, what a big guy to use the Internet to insult others. I have learned to get past caring, but it still hurts. I see others talk with ease with those who write things that are hurtful, but say they can find common ground with them in other areas. I am not saying I can never find common ground with someone, and I do not have to agree with someone a 100% of the time, but once someone is very adamant on presenting their superior way of being, well I just begin to block off possibilities of friendship. Of course I will continue to be a happy person and nice to people, but I will not go out of my way to be friendly with them. Hardly expect anyone to agree with much of what I say, but I am not really looking to find common ground with people that want to challenge me on a myriad of fronts.

After I received mean spitired comments, I felt well maybe I am not supposed to write about my opinions regarding politics and climate change, but why is that so? I am trying not to care about people that need to be so highly contentious with me, but I feel no need to be fast friends with them either. This is just the authentic me speaking: once you decide to broadcast something I find selfish and hurtful I just do not consider you a friend. Maybe I am rigid that way, but this is just me.

What Type of Attention Do You Seek?

Are you looking for negative attention? Many of us enjoy attention from our family and friends, but do we want to seek out attention from people we do not know? If you are an online writer, then you are probably looking for one type of attention or another, but what kind of attention are you seeking? I have come to acknowledge I myself would not be blogging if I did not want people to read my writing, and I think the majority of people are looking to make a positive impact. People do not knowingly seek a certain type of attention, but occasionally their comments can result in one type or the other. Everyone writing is seeking one type of attention or another, and it is up to the individual to determine whether this is good attention or bad attention. Some people open threads or write hubs to discuss others by name - in not so positive ways - and to me that is a form of negative attention seeking behavior. I love the hubs and threads where people are supporting their fellow bloggers, but I think we can all do without the less than positive ones.

Recently I have also seen forum posts where people discuss others, and label others "weird". Honestly, I just do not think it is kosher to open forum to mention someone by name, well not unless you have something positive to say. To me is screams of I want attention because I think I am doing something better than such and such a person, but others may not agree. What is the point of that type of attention? In high school people pass around notes trashing students they do not like, which is almost the exact same thing when you have to do it on a forum. Is it positive energy? Not really, or at least not in my book. Of course I am more of a sensitive type of person, but I wish to continue to stay that way in a cyberspace world where poking fun of others or going on a superiority trip is the modus operandi for a few. I think the majority of bloggers are not that way, but opening a thread or creating a hub to discuss someone in public in a negative way is less than kind.

It is not the best type of attention one can seek either. Also, creating a blog post and naming someone just in the hope to get traffic to a website that you have a vested interest in comes across as overly promotional. So what type of attention is the positive kind, and what kind can we live without?

Is Wanting Attention Bad?

It is not bad to want attention, but it would be more conducive to be a bit more mature about it. For instance, do not simply complain on Twitter about your life. Why not tweet a few posts that you find interesting, instead. If you enjoy reading books then help out a new author by posting a review of the book. Not only are you helping others this way, but people will pay a bit more attention to what you have to say because they will not consider you to be completely self-centered. Of course you can tweet about your successes and blog posts, but just remember to share the limelight with others. When we connect with people who are passionate about the same topics as we are, then we will automatically increase our audience overnight. Wanting attention is not a bad thing, but you need to be a bit more diplomatic and thoughtful about how you go about attaining this for yourself.